A recent piece in the New York Times reveals that living green is driving couples into therapy when one half of the couple is greener than the other. One partner might sneak unsustainably produced meals, set the thermostat too high or drive too much—chiding and guilt ensue. If it goes on long enough, the happy couple is no longer happy. Even families are tense as greener children clash with their not-so-green parents.

This seems a bit ridiculous (for a number of reasons), but it got me thinking about what does work when trying to convince someone (or some company) to change their unsustainable ways. This is the topic of an annual conference called Behavior, Energy and Climate Change; among its lessons:

• Information alone doesn’t work. People usually need some other motivation. Money saved is good; money earned is better.
• The payoff (or bad result from inaction) needs to be relatively immediate. The threat that your town may be under water when the glaciers melt or knowing that you’ll break even on that solar system in a mere 15 years doesn’t get many to change.
• Competition helps. If you know what your neighbor is doing, you want to do better.
• Tracking progress also motivates, especially if you can see how much money you’re saving.

It’s hard to change behavior, and harder still to communicate in ways that make a difference. When I consider these campaigns, the successful ones have this in common: they lead by example. A company credibly demonstrates that they are walking the talk, and others follow or do business with them. Or a campaign fosters friendly competition, so participants naturally follow one another.

Meanwhile, my former housemate will be pleased to know that I’ve drastically shortened my shower times….

More evidence that “save the planet” is bad messaging: Suzanne Shelton of the Shelton Group reports that her firm’s recent national survey of people identified as green buyers found six myths about green “consumers,” including that their top concern is the environment and that their main motivation when reducing energy use is to “save the planet.” The stat there: “When asked the most important reason to reduce energy consumption, 73 percent chose ‘to reduce my bills/control costs’ and only 26 percent chose ‘to lessen my impact on the environment.’”

This shouldn’t really be surprising. A growing body of research suggests that we’re hardwired to focus on the immediate and undervalue future benefits. Marketing gurus have been hammering home for decades the need to answer the key buyer question, “What’s in it for me?” And really, how would you expect people who are treated and see themselves as “consumers” to behave? (A topic I ranted on recently.)

Yet “save the planet” and its variations continue to appear in marketing and advertising by sophisticated companies and nonprofits. Either they believe there are more treehuggers out there than there are; they’re committed environmentalists themselves who can’t believe that everyone else won’t see the light when it’s pointed out to them (the classic error of mistaking yourself for your market); or they just want to paint themselves as green by communicating that they think saving the planet is a good idea. Regardless, it’s time for a new pitch.

Universities are not generally known as hotbeds of modesty, but you’d never guess that by looking at university sustainability websites.

One of the most common flaws is a lack of focus on what the university is doing, and how its institutional values and educational commitments influence its approach to sustainability. Instead, many sites speak in generalities about what sustainability is (I’ve lost count of the number of sites that quote the U.N. definition on their home page or in another prominent position), why it’s important, and what people can do about it.

The problem is, there are countless resources online for that kind of information, and generalities on why it matters don’t engage people in sustainability initiatives. When key audiences come to a university site they want to know what actions the university is taking, how those actions relate to the university’s mission and community responsibilities, and how people on campus can participate. That’s why, as I said in a previous post, the best sites put school policies, goals, and strategy front and center.

If you’re going to define sustainability, do it in terms of what it means to Whatever U. Describe why efforts in each sustainability area are important in Whatever U’s context (cold winters, water shortages, etc.). Tailor tips to campus goals and your specific audiences (there’s little point in telling students who live in dorm rooms how much carbon they can cut by weatherizing their home). And cite your achievements—they tell people that your sustainability message is more than talk.